February 14

Valentine’s Day Jokes

 

Meaning of Dreams

A young woman was taking a nap in the afternoon. When she woke up,  she found her husband to tell him, “I just had a dream that you gave me that pair of beautiful diamond earrings I showed you for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means honey?”
He said, “You’ll know tonight.”
Later that night, her husband came home with a small package and gave it to her. Practically speechless, she opened it–to find a book called, “The meaning of dreams”.

Guess who?

One day a guy walked into a post office to see a graying middle-aged man, standing at the counter, concentrating on placing heart stamps on red envelopes. Then he pulls out a perfume bottle from his bag and sprays all of the envelopes.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to this man and says, “Can I ask what you are doing?” The man says, “I’m sending out a couple hundred Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”
“But why?” asks the guy.
The man replies, “I’m a divorce lawyer!”

New Belt and Bag

Tom asked his friend, Bill, if he had gotten a gift for his wife this Valentine’s Day.
Bill said proudly, “Yea, I got her a new belt and a bag.”
“That sounds nice,” said Tom, “I hope she appreciates them.”
Bill smiled and replied, “So do I, and the vacuum cleaner should be working a lot better now too!”